Saturday, September 25, 2004

Undermine This

From Legal Fiction (a better blog than this.)

I also want to address some of the despicable quotes listed in Milbank’s article today in which he describes the clearly coordinated attack that Kerry’s criticisms are hurting our troops and helping the enemy.


The surrogates were even more explicit. Milbank lists more. My favorite was Orrin Hatch: “[Democrats are] consistently saying things that I think undermine our young men and women who are serving over there.”

I’ll tell you what undermines our troops – getting troops killed undermines troops, Mr. Hatch – not criticizing the failed policies that got them killed in the first place


Walking The Line
with Dr. Victor Von Doom

"The King of Latveria is no common murderer. If I cannot magnificently win a victory . . . it affords me no pleasure to merely slay a foe."

Doom returns triumphant, having not only gone 3-1 against the
spread last week but also having survived an assassination attempt and a failed coup.

And now, as shall be the norm, Doom will present thee ragged, tattered commoners with three NFL winners against the spread.

Know this: it is fool's trade to ignore the words of Doom.

Know this, peasants: Doom is

Once upon a Doom, a group of
Skrulls tried to steal Doom's Fantastic Four-seeking missiles. As Doom used the severed leg of one Skrull to beat the others to death, he swore aloud that if the 2004 Rams started giving points like the 2000 Superbowl team, Doom would triumphantly grasp those points and claim victory. Take the Saints with the points.

Doom has trouble seeing Tampa Bay going 0-3, but like the woeful leaders of the afore-mentioned coup who were dropped by Doom into a tank full of mako sharks and water moccasins, someone has to do it. Oakland by more than a field goal.

Doom knows the Seattle Seahawks are fancied as Superbowl contenders among the fashionistas and fresh-faced trendsetters, however, an eleven point line in a division game is as big an absurdity as the accursed Reed Richards claiming his intelligence is on par with that of Doom. The 49ers will lose, but by less than this bloated corpse of a margin -- take them with the points.


Friday, September 24, 2004

Fuck Bill Maher

Honestly, I just don't get him anymore. Three weeks ago, following the Republican National Convention, some polls showed Bush with a major (10 - 12 point) bounce; at about that time,
Maher decided to begin blasting the Kerry campaign for -- as near as I can tell -- not consulting him on each and every aspect of the race.

Facilitating this transformation was everyone's favorite NY Times columnist,
the eminently hatable Maureen Dowd (The proof is in the pudding: following her first appearance, Maher began oft-dropping the word "lame" to describe Kerry; an adjective that must have scored big at The Times lunchtable because Dowd tosses it around as if the word sprang from her loins and now sucks at her teat during nightly feedings).

Fast forward three weeks:
new polls show the race a statistical dead heat, and Kerry has begun to make strides on the Iraq issue -- in less than 24 hours the Kerry camp transformed Bush's ridiculous "right track/wrong track" gaffe into a biting campaign commercial -- and yet Maher decides the theme of this Friday's program should be "Kerry is too much like a girl." And whom should be making her second appearance in less than a month to discuss this monumental topic?

None other than Maureen Dowd.

There are lots of aspects of the Kerry campaign we would handle differently were things fall apart in charge -- fortunately, we aren't. And fortunately, neither are Bill Maher and Maureen Dowd. They are the equivalent of the rowdy drunk who's convinced that he can run his favorite football team better than the current coach, save for one thing: even the drunk knows better than to voice this complaint when his team is tied.

Their beef with Kerry boils down to one thing: his campaign hasn't been as effective the opposition. How hypocritical. The main reason Republican campaigns are so effective is because everyone stays on message. Joe Scarborough and Bill O'Reilly would never spend the lion's share of an hour-long program whining about Bush's choice of leisure activity; or marveling, nearly a month later, at the magnificence of the Democratic Convention.

Dowd and Maher want to have it both ways. If Kerry wins, all the better; if he loses, they can say "I told you so."

If that isn't a childish, weak-kneed -- dare we say "girly" -- position, than what is?

Some of us are going to change this country come hell or high water, and some of us are going to sit back and complain that hell isn't hot enough, and the water isn't quite as high we'd like.

We already know what column Bill and Mo fall into, how about you?


Ladies And Gentlemen...

Your Republican Party.

Sometimes I feel like this blog is just re-posting Atrios stories all the time; ( ED: probably because we are) regardless, go click the link -- it's as appropriate as it is depressing.


Thursday, September 23, 2004

By The Numbers

Number Of Times I've Worn My "Howard County For John Kerry" Shirt While Taking The Dog For Our Four Mile Walk: 3

Number Of Brothers Who've Given Me The "I Feel You" Nod: 3

Conclusion: The brothers love John Kerry.

To quote Styles P. from the Why? Remix --

"Why vote Republican if you're black?"


Wrong Track

Via Atrios, a "best of Bush" from this afternoon's press conference.

The first part of the question was how come we haven't found Zarqawi? We're looking for him. He hides.

I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in America. It was pretty darn strong. I mean, the people see a better future.

Talk to the leader. I agree, I'm not the expert on how the Iraqi people think, because I live in America where it's nice and safe and secure.

The Afghan national army is a part of the army.

By the way, it's the Afghan national army that went into Najaf and did the work there.

I've seen firsthand the tactics of these killers.


Wednesday, September 22, 2004

UN UNhappy With Bush

After stepping all over old Europe and the majority of the other UN member nations, Bush should be happy no one tossed a chair.

Despite an appearance before the General Assembly that was friendlier and more optimistic than any of his previous speeches to it, President George W. Bush still faces a skeptical crowd at the United Nations.

There was no burst of applause during Bush's speech Tuesday, even when he talked about the world's common struggles against poverty and disease. And the applause at the end was subdued.

This was in contrast to the warm, persistent applause that met his appearance shortly after the terror attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Before Bush spoke, Secretary General Kofi Annan gave a stern address warning that even the world's most powerful countries must follow the rule of law, which many interpreted to be a rebuke of Bush's actions in Iraq.


Cat Bin Stevens

An awe-inspiring example of how policies implemented by the Bush Administration are
making America safer everyday.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Former pop singer Cat Stevens, a Muslim, will be deported to Britain because his activities could be "linked to terrorism," a U.S. official said on Wednesday.

Arab-Americans and Muslims in Britain promptly voiced outrage over the treatment of Stevens, who is known as Yusuf Islam since he shelved his singing and songwriting career and became a Muslim almost three decades ago.

Homeland Security spokesman Brian Doyle said Islam was being put on the first available flight back to Britain. His Washington D.C.-bound plane was diverted on Tuesday to Bangor, Maine, after his name turned up on U.S. lists of suspected terrorists.

"Why is he on the watch lists? Because of his activities that could be potentially linked to terrorism. The intelligence community has come into possession of additional information that further raises our concern," Doyle said.

A law enforcement official who asked not to be identified said the United States had information that Islam, who visited the United States in May, had donated money to the militant Islamic group Hamas.

Islam was denied entry to Israel in 2000 after the authorities there accused him of supporting Hamas. The former pop star denied the charges and said his charitable donations were for humanitarian causes.

Among the charities he has supported are children affected by the war in Bosnia and in Iraq as well as victims of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks against America, which he condemned.


Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Head In The Sand


The president immediately mocked Kerry's latest attack, telling a New Hampshire audience that the opponent he has often accused of flip flops had done it again, continuing what Bush called a "pattern of twisting in the wind with new contradictions of his old positions on Iraq."

Juan Cole today.

I have a sinking feeling that the American public may like Bush's cynical misuse of Wilsonian idealism precisely because it covers the embarrassment of their having gone to war, killed perhaps 25,000 people, and made a perfect mess of the Persian Gulf region, all out of a kind of paranoia fed by dirty tricks and bad intelligence. And, maybe they have to vote for Bush to cover the embarrassment of having elected him in the first place.

How deep a hole are they going to dig themselves in order to get out of the bright sunlight of so much embarrassment?


John Kerry's "Top 10 Bush Tax Proposals"

I'd have preferred "The Top 10 Reasons George Bush Is A Douchebag," but this will have to do.

From Kerry's appearance last night on Letterman.

"Top 10 Bush Tax Proposals"

10. No estate tax for families with at least two U.S. presidents.

9. W-2 Form is now Dubya-2 Form.

8. Under the simplified tax code, your refund check goes directly to Halliburton.

7. The reduced earned income tax credit is so unfair, it just makes me want to tear out my lustrous, finely groomed hair.

6. Attorney General (John) Ashcroft gets to write off the entire U.S. Constitution.

5. Texas Rangers can take a business loss for trading Sammy Sosa.

4. Eliminate all income taxes; just ask Teresa (Heinz Kerry) to cover the whole damn thing.

3. Cheney can claim Bush as a dependent.

2. Hundred-dollar penalty if you pronounce it "nuclear" instead of "nucular."

1. George W. Bush gets a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.


Monday, September 20, 2004

Monday Morning Quaterback

Guest columnist
Dr. Doom was 3-1 against the spread this weekend -- for any of you gamblers out there, that's good money baby.

Also, on Saturday we correctly referred to Joel "living in his white bread world" Statham as the worst quaterback in recorded history. However, we failed to emphasize that before recorded history, worse quaterbacks did, in fact, exist.

Earlier today, we phoned
The National Museum of Natural History and confirmed a story things falling apart has been working on for weeks.

It is believed that one of those quaterbacks, from a time when man had yet to evolve from apes, is an early ancestor of Redskins QB Patrick Ramsey.

Experts who have analyzed the ape's fossil remains note that marks on the forearm and wrists show a penchant for throwing costly interceptions. Most agree that the ape -- nicknamed "Pat Sr." by the museum staff -- probably played quaterback so poorly that it was only a season or two before he was moved to the free safety position.

UPDATE: In comments for this post, a friend notes that Miami Dolphins QB AJ Feely is also thought to have a descended from an ape with a crappy arm.


Memorable Moments In Bush History

This is an excerpt from George Bush's now-infamous 1999 interview with Tucker Carlson for Talk Magazine.

In the week before [Karla Faye Tucker's] execution, Bush says, Bianca Jagger and a number of other protesters came to Austin to demand clemency for Tucker. "Did you meet with any of them?" I ask.

Bush whips around and stares at me. "No, I didn't meet with any of them," he snaps, as though I've just asked the dumbest, most offensive question ever posed. "I didn't meet with Larry King either when he came down for it. I watched his interview with [Tucker], though. He asked her real difficult questions, like 'What would you say to Governor Bush?' "

"What was her answer?" I wonder.

"Please," Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, "don't kill me."

As Bush sees the look of shock wash over Carlson's face he "immediately stops smirking" and adds, "It's tough stuff, but my job is to enforce the law."

Question -- shouldn't reading the above make Bush supporting, so-called Christians blush red with shame? After all, Christ was explicitly against the death penalty; and while I know that Bush doesn't kill babies, find me the verses -- sans caveats -- where Jesus takes as clear of a stand against abortion.


Sunday, September 19, 2004


Remember a week-and-a-half ago, when we passed the awful mark of 1,ooo US soldiers killed in Iraq?

32 troops have died since then.

But no need to worry, because "freedom is on the march."