Extra!!! Extra!!!

UPDATE: From our Washington Bureau -- In response to the latest report from Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge, the things fall apart Terror Alert Chart (which also served as the Tantrum Alert Chart for ASmallVictory.net.) has been changed.

The new system, based in advanced calculus and theory of villains from the old Batman TV program, is as follows:

TERROR ALERT CHART:

EGGHEAD -- Severe
KING TUT -- High
BOOKWORM -- Elevated
MA PARKER -- Guarded
THE MAD HATTER -- Low

Your current Terror Alert Level is: KING TUT/High



We urge citizens to stay alert but calm.