I SOLEMNLY SWEAR I AM UP TO NO GOOD - EMAIL: CHRISTAYLOR2003@COMCAST.NET

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Neocon VS. Decepticon
 
Mighty Zeus hath descended Mount Olympus to bestow upon us his wondrous creations once again... 
  
The following is a (mostly) weekly feature which pits the leaders of Washington's "new conservative" movement against Cybertron's most feared villains. Remember: Your vote matters!
 
NEOCON 
 
Name: Newt Gingrich
 
Title: Reputed to be a member of the Council on Foreign Relations; former Speaker of the House of Representatives
 
Transforms Into A Crazy Ass, Giant Laser Gun: Maybe some form of regular-sized Confederate musket, but not a giant laser gun.
 
Defining Moment: In 1999, it was revealed that the married Gingrich, a major critic of Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky, had spent the past six years sleeping with a congressional staffer 23 years his junior; the former House speaker soon after divorced his wife of 18 years via phone call.  
 
Famous Quote: referring to the Clinton-Lewinsky affair, "I will never again, as long as I am speaker, make a speech without commenting on this topic."
 
DECEPTICON 

Name: Shockwave
 
Title: Military Operations Commander
 
Transformers Into A Crazy Ass, Giant Laser Gun: Yes
 
Defining Moment: When Megatron and the Decepticons left for Earth, Shockwave was placed in control of Cybertron.
 
Famous Quote: "Your reasoning is highly illogical."
 
Collect them all! Trade with your friends!
Paul Wolfowitz
Richard Perle
Douglas Feith
Elliot Abrams
David Frum
John Ashcroft
Scooter Libby
R. James Woolsey

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