Saturday, November 27, 2004

Absolutely Badasses

"Let's pack 'em in!"


Big Dog

Clinton to ABC's Peter Jennings: "Sod off."

President Clinton's prime-time interview with ABC on Nov. 18, in conjunction with the opening of the Clinton presidential library, was for the most part a feel-good, nostalgic affair, as Clinton looked back on his presidency with ABC anchor Peter Jennings. But Clinton flashed real irritation when Jennings suggested some historians thought that Clinton's presidency had lacked "moral authority," without mentioning its having been tarnished by independent counsel Kenneth Starr's multiple investigations.

"You don't want to go here, Peter," snapped Clinton, who proceeded to criticize the reporting of ABC News, in particular, in the 1990s. "Not after what you people did and the way you, your network, what you did with Kenneth Starr. The way your people repeated every little sleazy thing he leaked. No one has any idea what that's like."


Friday, November 26, 2004

Off Day

Blogging everyday is hard work.


Thursday, November 25, 2004

Happy Thanksgiving

"I'm naming you Secretary of Delicious."


Plymouth [I]Raq

Roger Ailes (the good one) discusses the merits of naming the latest US-led offensive in Iraq "Plymouth Rock."

It was brilliant of the Administration to use a symbol of a traditionally Christian holiday to remind us why we're in Iraq. When Bush makes this year's pilgramage to deliver plastic turkeys to the American troops, I'm sure he'll remind non-puppet Prime Minister Allawi what happened to those who opposed colonization after the First Thanksgiving.

I think they all gathered together and enjoyed a large helping of freedom fires.


Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Double Standards, Half-Off

Can someone explain to me how Lisa Myers -- who, in 1998, doctored the Webster Hubbell phone tapes to make it seem as if the former Assistant Attorney General was implicating Hillary Clinton in the Whitewater scandal -- still has a high-profile at NBC, while Dan Rather has been completely hung out to dry by CBS?

The answer to this rhetorical question is, of course, that Ms. Myers' transgression was harmful to Bill Clinton -- which is fine -- while Mr. Rather's was harmful to our Dear Leader, which is a big no-no.

"It's hard work."



Digby has rounded up a nice sample of quotes which shows just to what extent the US was founded "Judeo-Christian values."

". . . Some books against Deism fell into my hands. . . It happened that they wrought an effect on my quite contrary to what was intended by them; for the arguments of the Deists, which were quoted to be refuted, appeared to me much stronger than the refutations; in short, I soon became a thorough Deist." -- Franklin

"... I am not afraid of priests. They have tried upon me all their various batteries of pious whining, hypocritical canting, lying and slandering. I have contemplated their order from the Magi of the East to the Saints of the West and I have found no difference of character, but of more or less caution, in proportion to their information or ignorance on whom their interested duperies were to be played off. Their sway in New England is indeed formidable. No mind beyond mediocrity dares there to develop itself." -- Jefferson

"What influence, in fact, have ecclesiastical establishments had on society? In some instances they have been seen to erect a spiritual tyranny on the ruins of the civil authority; on many instances they have been seen upholding the thrones of political tyranny; in no instance have they been the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wish to subvert the public liberty may have found an established clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just government, instituted to secure and perpetuate it, needs them not." -- Madison

". . . Thirteen governments [of the original states] thus founded on the natural authority of the people alone, without a pretence of miracle or mystery, and which are destined to spread over the northern part of that whole quarter of the globe, are a great point gained in favor of the rights of mankind." -- Adams

The 1796 treaty with Tripoli, negotiations begun under Washington and signed by Adams states:

[As] the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion


Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Surly Shark Has Dinner Ruined By Dolphins

"I can't understand what they're saying when they start squeaking and all that crap," said the shark in reference to the dolphins.

"Eventually, I just got sick of it and left."

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (Reuters) -- A pod of dolphins circled protectively round a group of New Zealand swimmers to fend off an attack by a great white shark, media reported on Tuesday.

Lifesavers Rob Howes, his 15-year-old daughter Niccy, Karina Cooper and Helen Slade were swimming 100 metres (300 feet) off Ocean Beach near Whangarei on New Zealand's North Island when the dolphins herded them -- apparently to protect them from a shark.

"They started to herd us up, they pushed all four of us together by doing tight circles around us," Howes told the New Zealand Press Association (NZPA).

Howes tried to drift away from the group, but two of the bigger dolphins herded him back just as he spotted a three-meter (nine feet) great white shark swimming towards the group.

"I just recoiled. It was only about 2 meters (6 feet) away from me, the water was crystal clear and it was as clear as the nose on my face," Howes said.

"They had corralled us up to protect us," he said.

The lifesavers spent the next 40 minutes surrounded by the dolphins before they could safely swim back to shore.


I Heart Our Leader

This is a letter sent to the Orlando Sentinel regarding a local billboard sponsored by Clear Channel, which features a gigantic photo of the Prez nestled up next to the words "our leader."

Billboard message

On my way to work Wednesday morning, I looked up and saw a giant billboard with a picture of George W. Bush and the words “OUR LEADER” under it. The first thing I thought was, when was the last time I have seen a president on a billboard? What is going on? Didn’t Saddam Hussein have his picture up everywhere? What next, a statue?

I am so concerned with our country and the division. I still stand by my vote, which was for John Kerry. George W. Bush has a lot of work to do to change the way I feel. Putting him up on a billboard does not make him a better president. His actions speak louder than words.

I wonder if anyone else finds the president’s picture on a billboard odd? I’m sorry, but it reminds me of countries with dictators, and it seems people are making him out to be the messiah, the savior of our world.

Fear, fear, fear. I’m tired of being afraid.

Dianna Lawson

Shhh. Leader is listening.


Monday, November 22, 2004

Woah, Back It Up, Back It Up.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Perusing this article on Alexander in The Washington Post, this stood out.

As for the bisexuality, [historian Robin Lane] Fox says the historical accounts certainly support the love relationship between Hephaistion and Alexander. Homosexuality was an intricate part of the pre-Christian Greek world, well established, and sanctioned by state and cultural norms, especially the relationships between older men and teens. Where Alexander may have differed was that his affair with Hephaistion was lifelong and between men of roughly the same age.

It is fascinating, but unsurprising, that an ancient civilization was more advanced than ours in terms of tolerance for others.



It's not just a dirty word anymore. The Iowa governor has removed himself from the running for DNC chairman; which is good news here, because Howard Dean has the treasured things fall apart endorsement. Vilsack is too much of a centrist, plus is too easily mocked based on his crazy name.

Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack said Monday that he will not seek the chairmanship of the Democratic Party.

Citing his responsibilities as governor, Vilsack said "these challenges and opportunities require more time than I felt I could share. As a result I will not be a candidate for DNC chairman."


Former presidential candidate Howard Dean has called party regulars, expressing his interest in the DNC job. Other Democrats interested in the job or being asked to pursue it include Harold Ickes, adviser to former President Clinton; Leo Hindery, former chairman of the Yankees Entertainment & Sports Network LLC, a New York-based sports cable channel that televises New York Yankees' baseball games; former Denver Mayor Wellington Webb and former Dallas Mayor Ron Kirk.


Sunday, November 21, 2004

Getting The Ban Back Together

It's an all sports Sunday at things fall apart, as David Stern just handed down suspensions for those involved in the Pacers/Pistons incident on Friday night.

The National Basketball Association suspended All-Star Ron Artest for the rest of the season and Indiana Pacers team mates Stephen Jackson for 30 games and Jermaine O'Neal for 25 following Friday's ugly brawl.


Detroit's Ben Wallace received a six-game ban while team mates Chauncey Billups, Elden Campbell and Derrick Coleman will serve one-game suspensions for leaving the bench during one of the worst brawls in North American pro sports history.

Indiana's Anthony Johnson drew a five-game suspension and Reggie Miller a one-game ban.


Walking The Line
with Dr. Victor Von Doom

"Bah! I have tarried with you long enough! My greatest task now lies before me!"

Bah! 1-2 is a record unbefitting even the most meager of peasants; this week, Doom strikes back.

Doom was once told by an assistant, en route to battling
Thor inside of Mt. St. Helens, that the environment would be too hostile for Doom. Doom chuckled and, after melting the fool's face, disregarded his comments with a smile, knowing well that the insulated cooling system inside of Doom's armor would keep Doom cool even as he dipped the insufferable cad Thor into lava. Such will the unseasonably warm temperatures in the north-east keep the St. Louis Rams comfortable even in the usually-frigid hell hole known Buffalo. St. Louis in a pick-'em game.

The first time Doom encased himself in his mighty armor, he conquered a small village in the former Soviet Union, then burnt it to the ground just for kicks. Unfortunately for the New York Giants, Eli Manning is no Doom; Atlanta wins by more than a field goal.

Several years ago, the great and powerful Doom was approached by a young girl and her compatriots, each with a different desire they wished Doom to fulfill. The benevolent Doom, of course, replied in the positive, but only if this band of travelers would first kill his arch-enemy: the Wicked Witch of the West. Their task accomplished surprisingly quickly, the group returned to claim their reward, only to find a cackling Doom -- in one of his finer moments -- already flying away in a large hot-air balloon. Whilst rising into the atmosphere, Doom pondered the fate of the Washington Redskins and decided that, eventually, they were bound to accomplish something. Washington with the points.