Monday, June 21, 2004

Neocon VS. Decepticon

Friends, join hands and rejoice, for once again, the time has arrived...

The following is a (mostly) weekly feature which pits the leaders of Washington's "new conservative" movement against Cybertron's most feared villains. Remember: Your vote matters!


Name: David Frum

Title: American Enterprise Institute, Scholar; Weekly Standard, Contributing Writer

Transforms From A Cassette Tape Into A Surly Robot With Pile Drivers For Arms: No

Defining Moment: Bursting with pride after hearing the president utter the phrase coined by her husband, "axis of evil," Frum's wife (Danielle Crittenden) sent this e-mail en masse to family and friends.

Dear all,

I realize this is very "Washington" of me to mention but my husband is responsible for the "Axis of Evil" segment of Tuesday's State of the Union address. It's not often a phrase one writes gains national notice—unless you're in advertising of course ("The Pause that refreshes")—so I'll hope you'll indulge my wifely pride in seeing this one repeated in headlines everywhere!!


The e-mail was later rumored to have cost Frum his job as White House speechwriter.

Famous Quote: "For now, let’s say that while the President’s opponents have made much sport of the idea that God called George Bush to the presidency, it’s becoming increasingy [sic] difficult to doubt that God wants President Bush re-elected."


Name: Rumble

Title: Decepticon Infantry

Transforms From A Cassette Tape Into A Surly Robot With Pile Drivers For Arms: Yes

Defining Moment: In the midst of fierce fighting at Autobot city, Rumble and his fellow cassette tapes destroyed the Autobot communications tower.

Famous Quote: "First we crack the shell, then we crack the nuts inside!"

And here are your previous installments of Neocon VS. Decpeticon:
Paul Wolfowitz VS. Megatron
Richard Perle VS. Starscream
Douglas Feith VS. Devastator
Elliot Abrams VS. Kickback