Friday, July 09, 2004

Disappearing Act

Everyone has this by now, but I saw it first at The Poor Man.

From the NY Times:

HOUSTON, July 8 - Military records that could help establish President Bush's whereabouts during his disputed service in the Texas Air National Guard more than 30 years ago have been inadvertently destroyed, according to the Pentagon.

It said the payroll records of "numerous service members," including former First Lt. Bush, had been ruined in 1996 and 1997 by the Defense Finance and Accounting Service during a project to salvage deteriorating microfilm. No back-up paper copies could be found, it added in notices dated June 25.

Trust me, the vanishing papers are only the tip of the iceberg -- in the Bush family portrait, Jeb's head has begun to disappear! And if Uncle Dick doesn't fix the Delorean soon, Barbara Bush will wind up marrying a pirate and Junior's military papers will remain lost in 1876 forever!

"Roads? Where we're going Jeb, we don't need roads."

UPDATE: Some of you may be saying, "Hasn't this happened before?" The answer is, you bet it has. It is it for that reason, we introduce THE BACK TO THE FUTURE THEORY (or BTTF Theory to savvy insiders) to the things fall apart lexicon. The BTTF Theory refers to anything that WAS provable (ex: Junior's Air National Guard service, the existence of WMD in Iraq) but has since been rendered unprovable, due to nefarious forces tampering with the time stream.

The culprits? Probably unscrupulous democrats like Tom Daschle, or worse -- Micheal Moore. But you better believe that Junior and Uncle Dick will have Iraq, circa March 2003, back to the way it was meant to be: poised to unleash global destruction unseen since biblical times.