Walking The Line
with Dr. Victor Von Doom

"The King of Latveria is no common murderer. If I cannot magnificently win a victory . . . it affords me no pleasure to merely slay a foe."

Doom returns triumphant, having not only gone 3-1 against the spread last week but also having survived an assassination attempt and a failed coup.

And now, as shall be the norm, Doom will present thee ragged, tattered commoners with three NFL winners against the spread.

Know this: it is fool's trade to ignore the words of Doom.

Know this, peasants: Doom is classic.

NEW ORLEANS @ ST. LOUIS (-7)
Once upon a Doom, a group of Skrulls tried to steal Doom's Fantastic Four-seeking missiles. As Doom used the severed leg of one Skrull to beat the others to death, he swore aloud that if the 2004 Rams started giving points like the 2000 Superbowl team, Doom would triumphantly grasp those points and claim victory. Take the Saints with the points.

TAMPA BAY @ OAKLAND (-3)
Doom has trouble seeing Tampa Bay going 0-3, but like the woeful leaders of the afore-mentioned coup who were dropped by Doom into a tank full of mako sharks and water moccasins, someone has to do it. Oakland by more than a field goal.

SAN FRANCISCO @ SEATTLE (-11)
Doom knows the Seattle Seahawks are fancied as Superbowl contenders among the fashionistas and fresh-faced trendsetters, however, an eleven point line in a division game is as big an absurdity as the accursed Reed Richards claiming his intelligence is on par with that of Doom. The 49ers will lose, but by less than this bloated corpse of a margin -- take them with the points.