Walking The Line
with Dr. Victor Von Doom

"Bah! I have tarried with you long enough! My greatest task now lies before me!"

Bah! 1-2 is a record unbefitting even the most meager of peasants; this week, Doom strikes back.

ST. LOUIS @ BUFFALO (-1)
Doom was once told by an assistant, en route to battling Thor inside of Mt. St. Helens, that the environment would be too hostile for Doom. Doom chuckled and, after melting the fool's face, disregarded his comments with a smile, knowing well that the insulated cooling system inside of Doom's armor would keep Doom cool even as he dipped the insufferable cad Thor into lava. Such will the unseasonably warm temperatures in the north-east keep the St. Louis Rams comfortable even in the usually-frigid hell hole known Buffalo. St. Louis in a pick-'em game.

ATLANTA @ NY GIANTS (-3)
The first time Doom encased himself in his mighty armor, he conquered a small village in the former Soviet Union, then burnt it to the ground just for kicks. Unfortunately for the New York Giants, Eli Manning is no Doom; Atlanta wins by more than a field goal.

WASHINGTON (-10) @ PHILADELPHIA
Several years ago, the great and powerful Doom was approached by a young girl and her compatriots, each with a different desire they wished Doom to fulfill. The benevolent Doom, of course, replied in the positive, but only if this band of travelers would first kill his arch-enemy: the Wicked Witch of the West. Their task accomplished surprisingly quickly, the group returned to claim their reward, only to find a cackling Doom -- in one of his finer moments -- already flying away in a large hot-air balloon. Whilst rising into the atmosphere, Doom pondered the fate of the Washington Redskins and decided that, eventually, they were bound to accomplish something. Washington with the points.