Jesus Christ, Wet Blanket

Via Tbogg, we learn that if there's one thing Jesus hates, it's not war or revenge, it's when little devil children hoarding for sweets infringe on his day. Damn it.

NEWNAN, Ga. - Across the Bible Belt this Halloween, some little ghosts and goblins might get shooed away by the neighbors - and some youngsters will not be allowed to go trick-or-treating at all - because the holiday falls on a Sunday this year.

"It's a day for the good Lord, not for the devil," said Barbara Braswell, who plans to send her 4-year-old granddaughter Maliyah out trick-or-treating in a princess costume on Saturday instead.

...

"You just don't do it on Sunday," said Sandra Hulsey of Greenville, Ga. "That's Christ's day. You go to church on Sunday, you don't go out and celebrate the devil. That'll confuse a child."

Wait, celebrating Halloween on Halloween will confuse the child, but celebrating it a day early won't? I guess that's just the kind of refreshing, folksy logic you find in "Bush Country."

Also, these dudes probably have an opinion about celebrating anything on a Saturday.

So the mark or seal of the God of heaven is worshiping the Lord on Saturday--His Sabbath--according to God's fourth commandment. In doing this, it is a sign that we show that we love, serve, and worship God. While the mark or seal of the Beast is worshiping on Sunday--the day of the sun or of the Blazing Star or Lucifer, his sabbath--after it is enforced. In doing this, it is a sign that we show that we love, serve, and worship the Beast and Lucifer.

John Kerry

"I, John Kerry -- the Devil -- hereby command you to celebrate Halloween on Sunday. MY day. In doing this, it is a sign that you love, serve, and worship the Beast and Lucifer... Me."