Wednesday, June 23, 2004

When Nerds Collide II

Let me begin by saying World O'Crap belongs in the category of "Blogs I Really Hate." The things fall apart company policy, of course, is to hate any blog which features such frivolous distractions as "readers." However, World O'Crap gets our blood extra-boiling because, while every blog is smarter than things fall apart, only most are both smarter and funnier, (sure, Matthew Yglesias writes for The American Prospect, but let's see him write this) and World O'Crap is one of them.

Yet, let's put all of that aside, and see what glorious bounty hath been wrought by demon-seed World O'Crap's foray into that conservative Xanadu: Townhall. Could it be possible that two of Townhall's pugnacious scribes will contradict each other so strongly, it becomes difficult to believe that both subscribe to the same political movement? Let's find out.

First, Jonah Goldberg:

Removing Saddam has had unforeseeable bad consequences, as well as some foreseeable ones. But it seems to me that liberals who now think we shouldn't have done it, solely because we didn't do it "just right," are falling prey to their own historic pie-in-the-skyism. There is no "just right" way to do things like this. If there were, we would have toppled Saddam with nerf bats.

Beinart is right that conservatives should do some hard thinking about our experience in Iraq. But no matter how cathartic it may be for liberals to sooth their consciences by saying this isn't the war they signed up for, this is the war we've got. And the shoulda-coulda-wouldas can wait until we win.

In other words, even though most of the pro-war contingent assured America that Iraq would be done "just right," (cakewalk, anyone?) Jonah believes liberals should accept that thus far, things in Iraq have gone kinda-sorta-okay. Plus, liberals should stop complaining about the war because, "this is the war we've got." Which is like saying, "that's the way the cookie crumbles."

This reminds of me of post-game interviews with the team that said it was going to win the Super Bowl, but instead lost in the very first round of the playoffs. "Sure, it sucks to lose in the first round, but you play the cards you're dealt. It was great just to make it to the playoffs, and we still had a great season."

All of which leads us to-

Emily Shaheen, who discusses competitive tournament structure, as it relates to the film Dodgeball.

The Championships have no prizes for second, third, or fourth places. This is very different from the feel-good sports of today, including the Olympics, which give almost everyone a prize. Why should a 16th place finisher receive a ribbon? They have not achieved the goal of being the best.

Liberals espouse this same ideology in society. They want all winners and no losers, but this is not real life.

In conclusion: Jonah wants a medal for finishing in 16th place in Iraq, but Emily says it makes him a liberal.

Looks like the Townhall Fourth of July Gala will be extra-spicy this year; and not just because Ben Shapiro swears that this time, he really will sneak a six-pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade into the party, instead of just chickening out in the parking lot, like he did at the Christmas Ball.