Friday, September 10, 2004

Peter, Did You Get The Memo?

Apropos of the whole "forged memos" incident, ladies and gentemen, I give you The Editors.

A lot of brainpower is currently occupied researching Vietnam-era typewriters, studying the finer points of font spacing, and experimenting with ways to produce duplicates of the Killian memos on various mechanical and electronic platforms, in order to determine if, indeed, these memos are the genuine article, or a modern forgery. Who knew that forensic typography could be so boring?

Let me save everyone a whole lot of time. They are genuine. How do I know? Because the internet is currently awash in wingnuts claiming the memos are fakes. Ergo, they are for real. Q.E.D.

Some people may feel that I'm just being flip here. Is that so, some people? Tell me: how rich would you be right now if, every time something was posted on a right-wing message board, or everytime Drudge had an exclusive, or any time Rush Limbaugh revealed a secret truth that the liberal media won't tell you, you called up your bookie and put down $20 even money on "bullshit"? The correct answer is: "pretty fucking rich". The correct answer is: "I would never, never lose." So, if anyone doubts my methodology, I have a crisp new $20 bill that just told me that I'm 100% right and you're just too dumb to see it. If any of you champs out there think me and Andrew Jackson are both wrong, well then, today's your lucky day, because we're paying 2:1. If you need us, we'll be on the couch playing ESPN NHL 2K5. Peace.